Yesterday I came across the incredible artwork of Dan LuVisi (specifically the The Streets) and I’ve been inspired–this has to be a thing at my table. A quick google search already turned up a Muppet race (see below) which I’m shamelessly pilfering to build off of with feats, class archetypes, and the like that involve interacting with or being a Muppet.
When I finally do get a The Street D&D 5E game up and off the ground, I’ll make sure to post about it here. Wocka wocka!
(modified from its original appearance on Wine and Savages)
Ability Score Increase. Your Charisma score increases by 2.
Alignment. While muppets can be found of any alignment, their magically-infuse nature inclines most to chaos.
Size. Muppets can vary greatly in size depending on subrace (monstrous or moppet). You are likely Small or Medium, although you may be monstrously large.
Speed. Your walking speed is 30 feet.
Floppy. Your flesh is cloth-like. You gain resistance to bludgeoning, force, and thunder damage.
Languages. You speak Common and any one language of your choice. Muppets do not have a tongue of their own, using the languages of whatever cultures are around them. Learning a language and its alphabet are a sacred art for most muppets.
Ability Score Increase. Your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Size. Your head is probably disproportionately sized compared to the rest of your body, but your size is Medium.
Muppet Cunning. You have advantage on Intelligence saving throws against magic.
Skill Versatility. You gain proficiency in two skills of your choice.
Ability Score Increase. Your Strength score increases by 1.
Size. Your proportions are simply ridiculous and your head is probably as big as a chair, but your size is Large.
Muppet Resilience. You have advantage on Wisdom saving throws against magic.
Relentless Endurance. When you are reduced to 0 hit points but not killed outright, you can drop to 1 hit point instead. You can’t use this feature again until you finish a long rest.
Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 1.
Size. Your limbs are unnaturally thin and you probably don’t look right, but your size is Small.
Lucky. When you roll a 1 on the d20 for an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can reroll the die and must use the new roll.
Muppet Presence. You have advantage on Charisma saving throws against magic.
Talented. You gain proficiency in Performance and with one instrument of your choice.
Prerequisites: Muppet, Monstrous subrace, Constitution 15+, proficiency bonus +4
You take half damage from energy sources with the exception of flames. You gain resistance to acid, cold, lightning, necrotic, poison, psychic, and radiant. In addition, you become vulnerable to fire. When this feat reduces the damage of an attack or spell, you have disadvantage on saving throws to resist its other effects.
Prerequisites: Muppet, Humanish subrace
You keep a wide variety of random innocuous objects on your person, waiting for just the right moment to utilize a relevant resource to overcome an obstacle. You can use an action to seize upon such opportunities, announcing your brilliance and producing a useful item from your comically deep pocket, seemingly endless pack, odd shoe, essential hat, or whatever item you designate to use with this feat. You cannot put any objects or creatures into your Stands For item.
The objects for this feat do not count against your carrying capacity, cannot have a value greater than 1 gp per point of proficiency bonus you possess, and something about them (hot pink color, made of plastic, much larger than necessary) makes them unfit for resale or more than one use.
When you use this feat, make an Intelligence saving throw against a DC equal to 8 + half your level. On a success, the item grants you advantage on one relevant ability check made within the next 10 minutes. On a failure, the item grants you a +2 bonus instead.
Once you have used this feat a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus plus Intelligence modifier, you cannot do so again until you finish a long rest.
Prerequisites: Muppet, Moppets subrace
When you are ready for it and act in concert with your thrower, you can soar through the air with a majesty definitively at odds with your nature. You can be thrown by a creature with Strength 13 or higher. When you use your reaction to launch with your thrower, you have a range of 20/40 feet, increased by 10 feet for every additional +1 of the thrower’s Strength modifier. For example, a thrower with Strength 16 treats your range as 40/60 feet. On a hit, you deal 1d4 bludgeoning damage per point of the thrower’s proficiency bonus and you may make one melee attack with advantage.
College of Muppetry
Muppets are known for being entertaining but their comical stylings are not easily mastered. Those who do learn their ways have sublime control over the arts of humor, able to bring an entire crowd to their knees by telling the right joke (probably using a stage prop).
When you join the College of Muppetry at 3rd level, you gain proficiency in Performance. If you already have proficiency in Performance, you have advantage on Charisma (Performance) checks.
B Stands For Bard
Also at 3rd level, you gain the Stands For feat, even if you do not meet its prerequisites. You use Charisma for the feat instead of Intelligence.
The Show Must Go On
At 6th level, when a humanoid within 30 feet of you is reduced to 0 hit points, you can use your reaction and spend 1 bardic inspiration die magically compelling it to resist unconsciousness. The target immediately makes a Death save adding your Bardic Inspiration die. On a result of 20 or higher, the target retains a number of hit points equal to your Charisma modifier.
At 14th level, you can use an action to distract up to twenty creatures of your choice that you can see within 100 feet and that can hear and understand you. Make a Charisma (Performance) check. Each target must make a Wisdom saving throw against a DC equal to the result on your check. On a failed save, it is stunned for as long as you maintain your performance. A stunned creature remains captivated by your performance unless a creature attacks it, it takes damage, or gains another condition.
You can extend your performance by using an action but the act you put on is very physically and mentally demanding. After the first minute, at the start of your turn you must succeed on a Constitution saving throw (DC 8 + 1 per previous save) or gain one level of exhaustion.
Muppet Magic Arcane Tradition
The magic that animates every muppet is unique yet the supernatural energies kindling their life have similarities. To the persistent and lucky, study of their power offers a path to the felty truth of muppetkind and the ability to call upon the strange creatures for aid.
Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, you gain proficiency in Performance.
W Stands for Wizard
Also at 2nd level, you gain the Stands For feat, even if you do not meet its prerequisites.
At 6th level, you learn how to cast spells the muppet way. Whenever you cast a spell other than a cantrip, you can choose to cast it as a muppet spell. A muppet spell creates a loud bang and a 10-foot-radius sphere of smoke centered on both you and the target of the muppet spell (or the point on which it is cast). The sphere spreads around corners, and its area is lightly obscured. Smoke from a muppet spell lasts for a number of rounds equal to spell level or until a wind of moderate or greater speed (at least 10 miles per hour) disperses it. When you cast a muppet spell with a spell attack and get a critical hit, the creatures in the area of the smoke when the spell is cast make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC or are deafened for 1d4 rounds.
Make Mine Muppet
At 10th level, creatures you summon (using conjure spells or find familiar) gain resistance to bludgeoning, force, and thunder damage. In addition, both you and these creatures can clearly see through the smoke from a muppet spell and the area of your muppet spell’s smoke is heavily obscured.
Starting at 14th level, you have advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.
Haha, that was a fun read. I can definitely see someone running a wizard based on Jim Henson using the Muppet Magic arcane tradition. Just as a heads-up, though, I think the last sentence of the Muppet Magic tradition got cut off.
I’m surprised that you didn’t include any references to the most famous bard from the College of Muppetry, David Bowie! Surely there could’ve been room for a magic dance or two. ;P
❤ Thank you! In my fervor to capture the (inspired I say!) Muppet Spell feature I forgot to jump back and finish the fluff. Added it in!
A bit of googling has produced a lot of threads and questions about Jareth the Goblin King, but no proper statblocks. Mayhaps I have a post for next week's Muppet Monday? Or the week after? I dunno–I feel like this is enough to get a The Street game started. We'll see what bubbles up. Definitely some kind of fey. Maybe a feywalker/bard (muppet college) multiclass?
Here you are good sir! https://mikemyler.com/2018/06/04/jareth-the-goblin-king-and-dream-touched-sorcerers/
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